CHEAP & Mediocre Bookkeeping Services
Affordable and subpar bookkeeping services – You get what you pay for! No Guarantees!
01
Step 1
Fuck up your books
Do it on your own for long enough your books turn into a right royal mess.
02
STEP 2
Hire Us
If you’ve fucked it up long enough, we literally can’t make it worse! Let’s see how we can fix it (or not)!
03
Step 3
File & See What Happens
Send your hot mess of bullshit to the CRA. Once we’ve touched it, no one else will!
04
Final Step
Go to Jail!
You’ll get audited, probably go to jail for a while with three meals a day, and we’ll walk away! No satisfaction guaranteed!
Cheap & Mediocre
Bookkeeping Services – What Do You Expect From a Pointless Graph?!
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Testimonials
★★★★★
0.4 from 14+ customers
Great at a Purpose
I went to jail because of these guys! I got out of a bad marriage and got a new job making license plates!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Sarah T.
So Affordable!
I couldn’t believe how cheap these guys were! Affordable hardly explains it. They practically paid ME to do my books for me!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
John H.
Questionable Service
I have been using their bookkeeping services for the past year and I am extremely confused. They provide questionable and tardy reports, and their customer service is mediocre at best. But they’re cheap, so they fit my budget!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Jane S.
Highly Detrimental
I have been a client of theirs for several years and I can’t say enough things about their bookkeeping services. They have screwed up my books every year I’ve asked them to be involved. What more could you want?!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Mike J
How can we assist you?
We are here to help you with all your
What is the cost?
The cost of our bookkeeping services varies depending on amount of care you actually expect. You can expect mediocre service at the VERY best.
How often will I receive reports?
You will receive reports detailing your financial transactions and statements. How often you’ll receive those will depend on our community service hours, the location of Jupiter, and whether or not you have calling time in prison.
Can I customize the services?
Gods no! What the fuck do you think this is? Be grateful we even have a website!
What payment methods do you accept?
Bitcoin and raw uncut diamonds are our only acceptable forms of payment
Is my data secure?
Yes, we take data security seriously. All your data is kept in a shoebox, regardless of whether it’s your paper receipts or your corporate databases.
Do you offer support?
Not really. You came to us because you’re a fuck-up.